Reflections in the Mud

It's been a hella long two weeks, starting with my trip to SA, and my subsequent return and backlog of tasks to be done.

But after a hard working (and hard resting!) week this week, i'm just one or two steps away from being back on top. Of course, you can't win every battle, but you must know the difference between, and secure, the most important challenges, so that in the long run, the war will be yours. And now at least, i know which battles i need to be focusing on.

And with another tick off on my to-do list, please enjoy the new photos that i have posted!

There are various new photo's and albums, but nearly all relate to the work done by Altruistic Alcoholics, a networking/fundraising group, who hold special events and parties to raise money for children in need in China.

To find out more info, or how you can become involved, please go to http://beijing-aa.info

Despite the notes given in my blog entry below, i am still confused by certain recent events.

Therefore, instead of dwelling on them here and just making my mind run in circles (I hope things work out, but it's not really under my control), i decided to do something that i've been planning for a while; typing up, stage by stage, my orgininal journal. It's not a daily journal, per se, but more of a general observations notebook

I began writing it many many years ago, before i even thought of coming to China, when i was still 'in the zone', physically, mentally and emotionally. I was 19, and everywhere i went, i would carry a notebook, and just write down whatever came into my head. When i got home, i would write my notes up in a much bigger book, and add analysis and afterthoughts.

Please remember when reading, that i was 19 and very inexpereinced when writing. I'm copying here, asis, so please excuse any bad grammar, or 'off the mark' remarks.

Anyhow, enjoy, and please leave comments if you think it's worthy of your attention

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This is the written journal of Andrew Tait, first written on Friday 8th May 1998, after having seen a real white crane on the lake at Priory Marina. Contained here in is an assorted collection of thoughts and experinces I consider to be relevent to my personal development. In no particular order, either in date or importance, all i can promise is that i can only be myself throughout.
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Amendment - 12.37am July 26th 1998

At this time, only the next page has been written. After a night at the cinema with Melissa Cook, I have returned home full of joy. We have decided that we would not go well together, having so little in common. My joy therefore, is at having gained so much from this event. I expressed my confusion at her actions (drinking, smoking and acting irreponsibly as she does) and her response was that it was just fun, and she could not understand me. It therefore makes me smile when i read above, that my intention is to 'be myself throughout'. Who exactly is that? The person that i think i am, that Mel thinks i am, that who thinks i am? We must appreciate that what we see is not what they see. Maybe this simple truth will help us understand both others and ourselves a little better. By trying to be ourselves, you are already being someone else.
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9th May 1998 (Note - This entry was made by Chris, my best friend)

This is Chris MacDonald. Life is always constant. But it is what is in life that causes inconsistancy in life. Heart and Soul must be in everything you do. So from this day onward, i promise the following things i will show;

• Love and compassion for everyone
• Put my heart and Soul in everything I do
• Follow all of Gods rules and commandments
• Perservere in the path of englightenment and martial arts
• Also find the path with Andrew

Chris and Andrew 1994 and onward forever, always paving the way

(Note - Now back to me writing)

Chris wrote this when he came to visit me one night. Even when upset and confused, Chris knew what to do. Contrast this to those who claim a virtous path and yet cannot even fulfil the first point. Chris knows the path, and so do I. All it takes is courage and faith to perservere on it.

Despite my sometimes false morality and dark tendencies, perhaps it is at least the acknowledging of the path, that starts me on its journey.
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And that's all for now. Not much insight or soul searching I know. But this was just the first two entries. Stay tuned, more to come over the next few days.....

On my recent flight back from South Africa, i got bored so started listening to one of those 'motivation lectures'.

It was actually a lot better than i thought it would be, and i wanted to share what i had learned (hope I'm not violating any copyright laws here, but, oh well.) So here, in no particular order, is what i picked up.

How to be a Complete and Utter Failure - Things NOT to do if you want to fail in life

• Don't let other people decide your mood. Don't be influenced by other peoples negativity.
• Health has a big influence on how you feel - keep your body in shape, keep your mood in shape
• Smile to change your mood. Smiling will make your body think you are happy, thus you will automatically become happy.

Focus!! You become what you focus on. So obviously, what you are thinking about will influence how you feel. Think positive means you will feel positive.

Leadership is the transferring of emotion - if you want those around you to be in good spirits, you first need to be.

• Failures ask lousy questions i.e. "Why do i keep failing?"
• Successers ask good questions i.e. "How can i do better next time?

80% of how you feel is determined by how you talk to yourself

• If you want to change the results of your actions, change your beliefs
• Successful people don't believe in failure
• No failure, just results - it's all just feedback
• What is important to you? What do you value?
• Don't go against your values.

Profit is a consequence of success, not a purpose

• Have a personal mission statement
• Live your mission
• No one on their death bed ever said 'I made budget!' What will you say on yours?
• Embrace worthwhile work - use your work to serve a greater purpose
• Do something that you love
• Do something that absorbs you

What would you do, if you knew you couldn't fail?

• Visualize the success of your future
• See what you want
• Who do you want to be?
• What do you want to do?
• Then....What do you want to have?

Goals enable you to see better where you are going, and how to get there

• Make decisions fast - Change your mind slow
• Dream Big - Dare to Fail

So there you go. Sounds like pretty good advice to me. Any feed back is quite apreciated.

This morning, I had a very good conversation with a dear friend of mine. We talked about some of the things going on in my life right now, and as always, he had a lot of good advice.

Both he and I have had similar lifestyles over the years (though i've always been playing catch up, no matter the arena ;)) But despite our pasts, he is now the one with a good career, beautiful wife, and a good stable life.

But i think i've been running away from those things too much. Now it's time to stop. As he said, and my title reflects, 'What you think, you will become.' If you imagine failure, disappointment and heartache, that is what will manifest. But visualize success, happiness and stength, and it will be yours.

Andy is Dead. My name is Andrew.
Onward and Upward. 2007

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So there you go. Another wasted 5 minutes of your time.  And please, if you disagree on any point, please let me know.